Nice Guy Unfinished – Kindle Pre-Order is Available

      You can pre-order my latest here. Kindle version will be released on or around February 4th.

Nice Guy Unfinished – Cover Reveal

 

Nice Guy Unfinished

Hard to believe. All of my cynicism around the likelihood of actually finding a soul mate has been exposed and dissolved. The woman of my dreams has arrived. Birds are singing. Who says nice guys finish last? Horse poo. It only took me fifty-four or so years to find true love. Imagine how many people […]

You Have a Faulty Picker

Actually, it’s a faulty pecker picker or pussy picker depending on which (or both, let’s hope) you prefer to pick at this particular time. If you have lady parts, you may be inclined to think the fault is in the peckers you’ve picked. Nay, I say. My pecker is quite perfect. It makes pee and […]

Methods of Modern Mating

The mating scene has certainly changed over the years. Before I was married in 1990, mates were found either at work or in bars. Office love was frowned upon, and barroom love was easiest due to lowered inhibitions (a.k.a. tequila). Once I reentered the scene in 2003, a new arena opened called “online dating.” This […]

What Makes an “Attentive” Lover?

I sat there quietly sipping my tall G-and-T, while taking mental notes as two female friends discussed the shortcomings and virtues of men in their past. The Heisman Trophy of orgasm delivery went to a man described as an “attentive” lover. I pried. “So, that means he went down on you regularly.” “Of course.” “That’s […]

A Lady’s Guide to Buying Condoms

Although the thought of wearing one of these gives me high anxiety, I have worn a few in my day, and am qualified to help ladies looking to gift-wrap a willy. First, you need to know your objective. Yes, I know you want him to keep his skeevy diseases to himself. I have a firm […]

How About a Holiday Lover?

This time of year can be depressing … for the needy type. Loners, introverts, and narcissists rejoice at the thought of all the bad sweater and white elephant parties we get to avoid. Yet, we admit a certain sexy elf might make the gaudy lights stapled to our eaves shine a little brighter. The thought […]

I Don’t Get You

This is the most frustrating part of being a man seeking a woman. I imagine it’s the same vice-versa. It helps a little to tell me what you don’t want. I can also respect it if you say you’re not sure what you want right now. I’ve also tried and erred enough times to have […]

Is Love a Choice?

Somewhat. You need to choose to love a thing in order to love it, right? Addicted folks will groan and say, “I would never choose this.” Isn’t it the effect they wouldn’t choose? I love Hendricks gin. I love the taste and how it makes me feel, to an extent. If I love it too […]

The Writer’s Dilemma

When asked what I do, if I’m not in a wiseass mood, I’ll say I’m an author who writes humor about relationships. The typical response includes skepticism, laughter, and the shared desire to someday write a book. I recommend against it. “But, wait a minute. You did.” “I also threw a red beach towel in […]

Are You Hitting on Me?

I doubt it. I mean, I’m flattered if you are. But, are you? I should know, huh? Damn. I would hit on you. Sure. Yep, you’re cute. In fact, I think I have been hitting on you—subconsciously. Can you tell? Hello? Where’d you go? There’s quite an internal struggle that goes on during mating season, […]

Man Relapse

This affliction works both ways, but, since I usually wind up counseling the damsel in distress, I’ll analyze why women return to men who have mistreated them. I rarely have women return to me, so my methods of mistreatment must be exceptional. Not proud. Just sayin’. The top reasons why women return to horrible mates: […]

The Narcissistic Generation

Social media has created an entire generation of look-at-me people. What happened to doing things without considering how to post it and many likes it might get? This attention whore dysfunction has bled into disconnected activities. Pfizer needs to come up with a cure before I tear through my favorite bar’s gin supply while self-medicating. […]

The Fine Art of the Booty Call

Like I said at the beginning of the book, this is purely fiction. Not true stuff. Never happened. Nope. Making it all up here. Not talking about you, Miss. I’d never. Just being silly, silly me. Now, the most enjoyable sex I’ve had is booty-call sex. How about you? Oh, only love making with a […]